I have been in a whirlwind. This summer has taken every bit of energy out of me that I feel I can muster up. I’m exhausted.
I found out I have a heart disease. Then, I had to wait to take an MRI/MRA… 10 days! 10 days of worrying about laying in a tube! I was more worried about the laying in the tube part than the actual results! I seriously could not remember, or think about anything else at all, other than this test! …
I made it out alive! But, only due to praise & worship music on pandora in my head phones! The valluum did nothing but make me sleepy and I couldn’t sleep because of the type of test it was.
Then a week… A. Week. Of. Waiting. Ugh!!!!
“My hope is in the Lord. He is my salvation. In him I find my strength. He will protect me. He will be with me. He is my healer.”
It was a long week! Turns out, I was worried about the results after all! It wasn’t “just” the testing that was making me crazy. Also, turns out that I’m not dying! Praise God!
Now, onto Denver for a our Thirty-One National Conference. (Which was amazing). Then, 24 hours in airports on the way home due to late planes and missed planes and, and, and… Then, I arrived home to find 7 boxes of Thirty-One products that needed to be bagged and delivered and 2 Chinese guests living with us for 2 weeks who were so sweet but very loud and very messy. Add on top of that the constant daily stresses that come from my normal, as is, not gonna change unless Jesus performs a miracle life, and I feel like I’m drowning!
If it weren’t for Jesus and my amazing gift from heaven of a husband that I have I would have run away a long time ago.
Do you ever feel like this, Just overwhelmed Exhausted from life and from others choices? From underlying issues that have never been resolved? From greediness and unforgiveness and “what I can I take from you” and “what can I get for myself”? From hatefulness? It. Is. Exhausting!
I find myself so stressed sometimes about what others are doing or saying or the lack there of and I can’t even deal with what’s going on with me personally. I feel like David. (Don’t worry, I won’t dance naked in the courtyard 😉 ) I feel like David when he says his enemies are constantly after him.
Psalm 109:1 For the music director, a psalm of David. O God whom I praise, do not ignore me! 2 For they say cruel and deceptive things to me; they lie to me. 3 They surround me and say hateful things; they attack me for no reason. 4 They repay my love with accusations, but I continue to pray.
But I continue to pray.
Do you pray for your enemies and those who are out to get you? Do pray that God will pierce their hearts and change their ways. Do you ask the Lord to show you if you are wrong in anyway? Do you believe God will protect you and take care of you no matter what people plan for you? Do you rest in Him?
I love this scripture:
Do I do this? Do you do this? Are we ever just “still” and do we ever truly wait on the Lord to do his thing?
God, make me still in you. Make me unmoving, causing me to wait on you. Cause me to wait before making decisions that would change the course of my life. Cause me to wait before I get angry. Cause me to wait in your everlasting peace instead of clinging to fear of the unknown. Convict me to hush my voice and listen to yours. Lord, I know you will protect me and lead me and guide me. I know that you are with me and you comfort me. God, forgive me for being of little faith and of frantically thinking I have to control every situation. I am yours forever. Amen.